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I hate my job, that is all…
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hypermediocrity, at it's best...
(we all live in square houses)
16 August 2006 @ 04:35 pm
Current Location: Home
Accompanying Mood: Confused
Accompanying Music: Believe - The Smashing Pumpkins
16 August 2006 @ 01:10 pm
Vodka, the closet thing to perfect that we have ever got to as far as a spirit is concerned. It is a drink that no-body could possibly dislike as it tastes like nothing, really, whatsoever. it is just pure, untampered, uncomprimised, uncomplicated alcohol - well most. For those Russian's or trivially gifted would know that vodka is a Russian endearment for "little water" (voda being water in Russian).
The origins of voka however, can not be pinpointed to having a home or birthplace because it is just such simple drink. a spirit distilled from grains has been made in Russia, Poland and the Baltic states ever since very, very early distillation in Europe. Although, as a drink that is definable as vodka is really up to the Poles and Russian folk to sort out for themselves. What is set in stone however, is that home distillation had been a quite novel way to pass the long winters in Poland, exclusivly distilling their own domestic vodkas.
It was these early distillations would have tasted incredibly unclean. Any berries, herbs or seeds that were availble would have been used to mask the terrible taste and aroma. It was only at the beginning of the 19th century that rectification techniques had been discovered, so up to then, the vodkas made would not have been the anonymous products prefered today, but were more the ancestors of the flavoured vodka.
With all that being said, it was the neutral, ultra-purified grain vodka - which would eb made from wheat or rye - that came to prominence in the West. So popular and commonplace it has become, particuly amoung the younger generation of drinkers whose pallets have not yet matured to enjoy the taste of unrectified spirits like whisky or cognac, it is almost a stretch to think that, until the late 1940s, nobody in America or Europe had even heard of it.
In the era of the onset of the Cold War, vodka was seen purely as a provocative unconformest drink. It was the flavoured "hooch" of the Soviet bloc, and the Mcarthiest, witch-hunting atmosphere of the 1950s America, of course, nothing would inflame a redblooded, bourbon-drinking patriotest than the young folk drinking the spirit of communism with every glass. According to the late drink historian, Alexis Lichine, the rise of vodka can be linked and attributed by the purchase by a US company of the recipe from a Russian Refugee by the name of Smirnoff, on the eve of the second world war. Despite how much I hate this phrase, it's true, from here the rest is history.
Vodka, because of it's pure state, is drunk as an apertif, digestif and even as an accompaniment to food. Icy-cold should be it's served state and, if you're lucky, or unlucky enough considering the current government in power, to be Polish than a ritual wishing of good health - na zdrowie - would follow. Of course, the quantities they would consume, dwarfs and raises eyebrows in Western 'unit-counting' culture, 'though, a vodka hangover is rather rare, this owing to the plain purity of the alcohol.
If you were after the top of the range, top shelf flavoured vodka, than Zubrowka, bison-grass vodka, is for you. Accompanied with the blade of bison grass in the bottle it is a fine choice (that grass being the gourmet choice for the wild bison that roam the forest of eastern poland). Other fine flavoured selections are Wisniowka (cherries), Limonnaya (lemon), Kurant (blackcurent) - the latter being made by the Swedish comany, absolut. Pieprzowka is laced with chilli peppers for a spicy finish while Russia has gone all out with Okhotnichya - "Hunter's Vodka" - infusing orange rind, ginger root, juniper berries, coffee beans and even a drop of white port to finish.
Neutral vodka these days is made all over the globe, with many grades meant for use in mixed drinks. Stolichnaya from the motherland, Russia, is the smooth exception to this. Scandinavian companies such as Absolut and Finlandia have their well-earned followings, while British vodkas don't seem to be just a little more than patent alcohol. Many brands such as Smirnoff have varying labels to dictate different stregth of alcohol. Of course, some vodkas such as the Polish Pure Spirit sit up at 70% ABV, I have seen Polish Vodka of a higher ABV use as window cleaner becuase the owner did not dare to consume any of it in fear of death.
Although back in the day and littered throughout history vodka was made from potatoes and various other vegetables, nowadays it tends to be made exclusively from grains, usually rye. The grains are then malted, encouraging fermentation with cultured yeasts. Almost all of the higher alcohols are then driven out by means of continious distilliation in a column still. The spirit is then filtered through a layer of charcole to ensure purity. 37.5% is the average ABV when bottled.
Icy cold vodka is the perfect partner to Russian caviar which, it itself, is served on a bed of ice. In the Scandinavian region it is consumed with smoked and marinated fish such as herring, mackerel and even salmon.
remember kids, just because it doesn't give you a hangover, doesn't mean you can't drink responsibly…
The origins of voka however, can not be pinpointed to having a home or birthplace because it is just such simple drink. a spirit distilled from grains has been made in Russia, Poland and the Baltic states ever since very, very early distillation in Europe. Although, as a drink that is definable as vodka is really up to the Poles and Russian folk to sort out for themselves. What is set in stone however, is that home distillation had been a quite novel way to pass the long winters in Poland, exclusivly distilling their own domestic vodkas.
It was these early distillations would have tasted incredibly unclean. Any berries, herbs or seeds that were availble would have been used to mask the terrible taste and aroma. It was only at the beginning of the 19th century that rectification techniques had been discovered, so up to then, the vodkas made would not have been the anonymous products prefered today, but were more the ancestors of the flavoured vodka.
With all that being said, it was the neutral, ultra-purified grain vodka - which would eb made from wheat or rye - that came to prominence in the West. So popular and commonplace it has become, particuly amoung the younger generation of drinkers whose pallets have not yet matured to enjoy the taste of unrectified spirits like whisky or cognac, it is almost a stretch to think that, until the late 1940s, nobody in America or Europe had even heard of it.
In the era of the onset of the Cold War, vodka was seen purely as a provocative unconformest drink. It was the flavoured "hooch" of the Soviet bloc, and the Mcarthiest, witch-hunting atmosphere of the 1950s America, of course, nothing would inflame a redblooded, bourbon-drinking patriotest than the young folk drinking the spirit of communism with every glass. According to the late drink historian, Alexis Lichine, the rise of vodka can be linked and attributed by the purchase by a US company of the recipe from a Russian Refugee by the name of Smirnoff, on the eve of the second world war. Despite how much I hate this phrase, it's true, from here the rest is history.
Vodka, because of it's pure state, is drunk as an apertif, digestif and even as an accompaniment to food. Icy-cold should be it's served state and, if you're lucky, or unlucky enough considering the current government in power, to be Polish than a ritual wishing of good health - na zdrowie - would follow. Of course, the quantities they would consume, dwarfs and raises eyebrows in Western 'unit-counting' culture, 'though, a vodka hangover is rather rare, this owing to the plain purity of the alcohol.
If you were after the top of the range, top shelf flavoured vodka, than Zubrowka, bison-grass vodka, is for you. Accompanied with the blade of bison grass in the bottle it is a fine choice (that grass being the gourmet choice for the wild bison that roam the forest of eastern poland). Other fine flavoured selections are Wisniowka (cherries), Limonnaya (lemon), Kurant (blackcurent) - the latter being made by the Swedish comany, absolut. Pieprzowka is laced with chilli peppers for a spicy finish while Russia has gone all out with Okhotnichya - "Hunter's Vodka" - infusing orange rind, ginger root, juniper berries, coffee beans and even a drop of white port to finish.
Neutral vodka these days is made all over the globe, with many grades meant for use in mixed drinks. Stolichnaya from the motherland, Russia, is the smooth exception to this. Scandinavian companies such as Absolut and Finlandia have their well-earned followings, while British vodkas don't seem to be just a little more than patent alcohol. Many brands such as Smirnoff have varying labels to dictate different stregth of alcohol. Of course, some vodkas such as the Polish Pure Spirit sit up at 70% ABV, I have seen Polish Vodka of a higher ABV use as window cleaner becuase the owner did not dare to consume any of it in fear of death.
Although back in the day and littered throughout history vodka was made from potatoes and various other vegetables, nowadays it tends to be made exclusively from grains, usually rye. The grains are then malted, encouraging fermentation with cultured yeasts. Almost all of the higher alcohols are then driven out by means of continious distilliation in a column still. The spirit is then filtered through a layer of charcole to ensure purity. 37.5% is the average ABV when bottled.
Icy cold vodka is the perfect partner to Russian caviar which, it itself, is served on a bed of ice. In the Scandinavian region it is consumed with smoked and marinated fish such as herring, mackerel and even salmon.
remember kids, just because it doesn't give you a hangover, doesn't mean you can't drink responsibly…
27 July 2006 @ 12:23 am
HAPPY THIRTEENTH BIRTHDAY SIAMESE DREAM!!! She's given us some freaken awesome sounds these past thirteen years, god bless The Smashing Pumpkins. I guess it doesn't matter if you were there from the beginning or discovered this baby (and The Smashing Pumpkins themselves) after their first breakup like I unfortunatly did. Thirteen years is a hell of a long time in music years so it is such a beauitufl thing to see an album like Siamese Dream stand up again the rest. SIAMESE DREAM has lived the test of time so far and it's a safe bet to assume that she'll keep the world rocking for another thirteen years.
we love you Siamese Dream…
we love you Siamese Dream…
22 July 2006 @ 05:40 pm
let's start with the old, old classic - Gin. Now poor gin doesn't have that much respect around the place as it tends to always be associated with gloom, doom and depression. it's been used for girls in trouble to induce miscarrieges in Mothers Ruin, in the bathtub that rotted guts in American Prohibition and the drinkers choice, 101, of the 1930's - the great depression.
way back in the day the english folk stood on their soapbox to anouce they were the first gin makers, what the didn't realise is it was quite the oppisite. right back in the 16th centure it was those friendly Holland-folk, or at least that is furtherest back that the origin of the old, old classic drink can be traced.
Gin was first medical before it was ever rereation - this like many other distilled drinks. It had a blend of herbs and aromatics that were belive quite strongly to ward against all the ills of the flesh (or somehting close enough to that). As any man or his echinda would know, the primary aromatic is the dark berrie plant, the humble juniper. The dutch world for juniper, genever, is the linguistic of the English word, 'Gin' (still think you inveneted it :P).
The dark fruit from the juniper tree are a major contributer to the strong, charateristic aroma of gin. The fruit itself is held in high reguard as being a diuretic - which is always nice. although the juniper's fruit is the base flavour and purfume of gin, other ingredient are what make one gin different from the other - think timbre in terms of music for those audio geeks out there. Angelica, citris peel, liquorice, orrisroot, caraway and coriander are some of the most widely used.
London Gin did kick in around the 17th century - gin most probably came to London by bristish soldier returning home across the north sea. London Gin uses traditional beer making ingredients - hops and barley - with those humble little juniper berries we all love.
Gin I guess rose sharplyin popularity becuase of the massive tarriffs to any french exports, and as port became the wine of choice for the patriotic elite (heheh), so then gin came to replace the role that cognac held. Beer at this time was hit with stricter levies and so then gin became considerably cheaper, thus becoming the drink of choice for the lower class who used to drink beer before. Of course, with the increase in gin shops around, public drunkenness and alcohol related illness and offence soared!
becuase of the above, poor old gin was labelled as the drink for the depressed and down and out and still holds a certain association with such gloom today. it was in the 1736 that purchase of gin in small quanities was made teh illegal by the fuddy-duddies in their ivory towers. of course, this was reversed a meer six years later because the contriband equivilent that was being consumed was masively more toxic than the official stuff had been.
way down the line of gin's long history, a Gin and Tonic was born and it seems that gin had been reborn to a new audiance. Of course, witht he popularity of vodka in the youth market (yep I did just say youth :P), gin has lost a lot of ground, this manly being that the purfume (man I love that world - screw you aroma, purfume is teh king) stands as an aquired taste to those of an 'untutored palate'.
For English Gin there are two stand-out types. London dry gin (which doesn't particuly have to be distilled in the capital) is the most commonly known. it's purfume is strong and it's quality varies quite a lot. Plymouth gin, which only has one distiller, is distictivly drier than London dry, the aromatic used are of a subtler 'bouquet' than most gin drinkers are used to or are familer with.
there is a small percentage that is cast aged - named 'golden gin' for obvious reasons, but most is not and thus holds that clear appernce.
Dutch Genever (good old bols) holds on to a more pungently flavoured grain mash of which it is made. a mixture of barley, rye and corn is matly (usually heavily), layering gin with a light beery tinge. Like English Gin they come in two types although, unlike English gin however, this is determined by their ages itself: either young (jonge) or old (oude). It's the younger of these that is the closer to the English conterpart.
Gin is simply made by forst creating a grain spirit from rye and barley (or corn for dutch genever or american gin). the english like to run ti through sucessive distillations so the higher alcohols are driven off. the product is then ran through the herbs, berries and spicers or macerating them in the spirit itself. the resulting spirit is bottled and can be bought straight away as good old gin.
Gin works well with fish and should generally be served chilled and neat in a tallish, narrow-sided glass. A gin an tonic is traditionally a long drink ith a slice of lemon and plenty of ice. of course, like almost every other drink, it should NOT be drunk with cola, but beverages like orange juice, ginger beer and maybe purhape bitter lemon would accompny it handsomely.
remember kids, drink responsibly, and never, never, never get rolling drunk…
way back in the day the english folk stood on their soapbox to anouce they were the first gin makers, what the didn't realise is it was quite the oppisite. right back in the 16th centure it was those friendly Holland-folk, or at least that is furtherest back that the origin of the old, old classic drink can be traced.
Gin was first medical before it was ever rereation - this like many other distilled drinks. It had a blend of herbs and aromatics that were belive quite strongly to ward against all the ills of the flesh (or somehting close enough to that). As any man or his echinda would know, the primary aromatic is the dark berrie plant, the humble juniper. The dutch world for juniper, genever, is the linguistic of the English word, 'Gin' (still think you inveneted it :P).
The dark fruit from the juniper tree are a major contributer to the strong, charateristic aroma of gin. The fruit itself is held in high reguard as being a diuretic - which is always nice. although the juniper's fruit is the base flavour and purfume of gin, other ingredient are what make one gin different from the other - think timbre in terms of music for those audio geeks out there. Angelica, citris peel, liquorice, orrisroot, caraway and coriander are some of the most widely used.
London Gin did kick in around the 17th century - gin most probably came to London by bristish soldier returning home across the north sea. London Gin uses traditional beer making ingredients - hops and barley - with those humble little juniper berries we all love.
Gin I guess rose sharplyin popularity becuase of the massive tarriffs to any french exports, and as port became the wine of choice for the patriotic elite (heheh), so then gin came to replace the role that cognac held. Beer at this time was hit with stricter levies and so then gin became considerably cheaper, thus becoming the drink of choice for the lower class who used to drink beer before. Of course, with the increase in gin shops around, public drunkenness and alcohol related illness and offence soared!
becuase of the above, poor old gin was labelled as the drink for the depressed and down and out and still holds a certain association with such gloom today. it was in the 1736 that purchase of gin in small quanities was made teh illegal by the fuddy-duddies in their ivory towers. of course, this was reversed a meer six years later because the contriband equivilent that was being consumed was masively more toxic than the official stuff had been.
way down the line of gin's long history, a Gin and Tonic was born and it seems that gin had been reborn to a new audiance. Of course, witht he popularity of vodka in the youth market (yep I did just say youth :P), gin has lost a lot of ground, this manly being that the purfume (man I love that world - screw you aroma, purfume is teh king) stands as an aquired taste to those of an 'untutored palate'.
For English Gin there are two stand-out types. London dry gin (which doesn't particuly have to be distilled in the capital) is the most commonly known. it's purfume is strong and it's quality varies quite a lot. Plymouth gin, which only has one distiller, is distictivly drier than London dry, the aromatic used are of a subtler 'bouquet' than most gin drinkers are used to or are familer with.
there is a small percentage that is cast aged - named 'golden gin' for obvious reasons, but most is not and thus holds that clear appernce.
Dutch Genever (good old bols) holds on to a more pungently flavoured grain mash of which it is made. a mixture of barley, rye and corn is matly (usually heavily), layering gin with a light beery tinge. Like English Gin they come in two types although, unlike English gin however, this is determined by their ages itself: either young (jonge) or old (oude). It's the younger of these that is the closer to the English conterpart.
Gin is simply made by forst creating a grain spirit from rye and barley (or corn for dutch genever or american gin). the english like to run ti through sucessive distillations so the higher alcohols are driven off. the product is then ran through the herbs, berries and spicers or macerating them in the spirit itself. the resulting spirit is bottled and can be bought straight away as good old gin.
Gin works well with fish and should generally be served chilled and neat in a tallish, narrow-sided glass. A gin an tonic is traditionally a long drink ith a slice of lemon and plenty of ice. of course, like almost every other drink, it should NOT be drunk with cola, but beverages like orange juice, ginger beer and maybe purhape bitter lemon would accompny it handsomely.
remember kids, drink responsibly, and never, never, never get rolling drunk…
Current Location: Home
Accompanying Mood: Bored
19 June 2006 @ 05:33 pm
ahh moby you always manage to make me smile!
enjoy:
ahhh, good times…
enjoy:
- ah ha!
proof that homophobes are just closeted gays!
feel free to share this study with any of your homophobic friends(maybe while you gently encourage them to come out of the closet and accept their feelings and move to sydney or new york or san francisco and dance to house music until 5 a.m. trust me, they'll be happier.).
it also helps me to understand why so many homophobes love to watch professional sports. i mean, if i described a tv show as: 'a bunch of sweaty, scantily clad men running around and having intimate physical contact with each other and occasionally hugging and slapping each others asses' you would be confused, right? would i be describing gay porn or most professional sports? it also helps me to understand why so many men wouldn't go see 'brokeback mountain'. they're afraid that they'll get aroused by heath ledger and jake gyllenhall(both of whom are pretty cute, it must be said).
so here's the study:
"Sam Seder:
In our book, we quote a 1996 study in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology by researchers at the University of Georgia. The subjects of the experiment -- all males describing themselves as exclusively straight -- were divided into homophobic and non-homophobic groups. They were then shown videos of straight pornography and gay pornography, while their levels of arousal were measured by a penile plethysmograph.
The results? During the gay videos, nearly 80% of the male homophobes achieved a state of arousal. What's more intriguing is in their own assessments of their arousal, the homophobes claimed to have none, even though the instruments showed otherwise.
-moby
p.s-'penile plethysmograph'...we learn new words every day.
ahhh, good times…
24 May 2006 @ 05:24 pm
24 May 2006 @ 12:23 am
I know I now sound like nerdy dickwad with nothign to do with his time but be a pretencius little shit. But the truth is, I am sick of having to fix the computer problems of people where the problems could have been avoided in the first place. And then when I do make things right they still don't take my advice and follow said instructions and then expect me to freaken save them again.
Even somehting similar like actually have a firewall and having it on! OMG THAT IS SOO AMAZING HOW DID YOU DO THAT! There should be a simple test you have to pass to get access to the internet so such incompidance is hopefully avoided. Oh, and how about owning an anti-virus program!!! Come on! One of the best little gems is free and updates itself without you having to think and IT'S FREE (that's legally free and not 'I could find a great crack for it on so-and-so that made it work' free)! There are just way too many people swiming in this ocean and getting anally raped by amature hackers all becaue they can't invest in FREE safeguards that would at least give them a bit of a fighting chance as opposed to standing with your pants around your ankle, bending over whilst saying 'come on in, it's warm inside' -_-.
Of course then there is the thing about the browser. Now some people are so in the pants of ie that even the thought of other browsers existing is absurd, let alone SWITCHING to one of them. Now even my lecturer who has the idea that if your site isn't flash with animations and sounds then it's just not a website (-_-) has able to hack through internet explorer without having to even think and he really has no idea! I have been using Mac's safari (with like everythign that comes from the brainchild of mac is incredibly shit - not because the ideas are shit, they are quite great, but becaue they try so hard to be different it's like every little emo kid who listens to simple plan and hates his parents) at SAE, and even it manages to be just the tiny bit better than ie (of course I don't have permission to have a look inside so maybe it's jsut the setting at which it is set to). Please, if you don't have firefox then please get it.
So miss/mr/mrs why would a hacker ever want to hack me for, so you're too attached to your ie to part with it even to trial anyother browser but ie, that's okay. I just have to beg you, get a decent firewall, and download a decent anti-virus! Wait, ANY firewall and ANY antivirus sjut as long as they keep themselves up to date (oh and by firewall I do NOT mean windows XP firewall).
so much anger in such a troubled child…
23 May 2006 @ 08:46 pm
From Moby's journalok, let's look at the evidence...
1-gm announced that they're going to stop making Humvee's(aka-hummers, aka-big cars for idiots with small penises, aka-the automobile of the apocalypse, etc) for civilian sales.
2-according to the wall st journal george bush's approval ratings have slipped into the 20 percent range. again: aka-very, very low. aka-disastrously low. aka-republicans now see gw bush as a huge liability. etc.
3-nu metal(aka-'rape rock', aka-the soundtrack for date rape on spring break, aka-testosterone fueled music for men who will someday beat their spouses, etc)is basically dead and gone.
i know it sounds crazy...but could things in america be getting...better?
are americans waking up from a somnambulent era wherein rape rock ruled the airwaves and
small penised men drove cars that got 4 miles to the gallon and people gave their approval to a president who lied every time he opened his weasely little mouth?
is it...is it possible?
my deepest hope is that the democrats re-take the house and senate in november and impeach bush and throw cheney and wolfowitz and rumsfeld in jail for war crimes and treason.
it'll probably never happen, but a boy can dream...
-moby
hehehehe…
15 April 2006 @ 09:45 pm
( <3 )…
Accompanying Mood: ^^
Accompanying Music: Bizarre Love Triangle [Extended Dance Mix] - New Order
15 April 2006 @ 06:35 pm
Accompanying Mood: Eeee!
Accompanying Music: Section 11 (A Long Day Continues/We Sound Amazed)
14 April 2006 @ 10:44 pm
MEME TIME!!!
stick your media player's playlist on random and paste the first thrity songs with the words 'in my pants' at the end of each song.1) Defecate On My Face in my pants.
2) The Aeroplane Flies High (Turns Left Looks Right) in my pants.
3) So Here We Are in my pants.
4) Gay Bar in my pants.
5) Detachable Penis in my pants.
6) Nothing At All in my pants.
7) And The Ass Said To The Angel: Want To Play Kick To Kick in my pants.
8) I Shit Me in my pants.
9) Let Me Be in my pants.
10) The Boy in my pants.
11) Fixing A Hole in my pants.
12) Sellout in my pants.
13) Blowing Dirt in my pants.
14) Lotion in my pants.
15) Slow Hands in my pants.
16) If Things Were Perfect in my pants.
17) The Perfect Kiss in my pants.
18) Hiding All Away in my pants.
19) Wish You Were Here in my pants.
20) Days Before You Came in my pants.
21) Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me in my pants.
22) Destroy Everything You Touch in my pants.
23) Pussy Town in my pants.
24) Take Me Out in my pants.
25) Cosmic Curry in my pants.
26) Mass Destruction in my pants.
27) Midvikudags in my pants.
28) Use Your Fist And Not Your Mouth in my pants.
29) Empty Spaces in my pants.
30) Section 16 (One Man Show) in my pants.
hehehehe…
Accompanying Mood: Sore (in my pants)
Accompanying Music: Group Four (in my pants) - Massive Attack
10 April 2006 @ 03:06 pm
Dear LiveJournal user pinothyj,
We have received a report, properly formatted under the provisions set forth by United States law, indicating that your comment located at [http://pinothyj.livejournal.com/28782.h
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Regards,
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LiveJournal Abuse Team
fuck you…
We have received a report, properly formatted under the provisions set forth by United States law, indicating that your comment located at [http://pinothyj.livejournal.com/28782.h
If you feel that this report is in error or that your use of the material falls under one of the categories permitted under copyright law, you are entitled to file a counter-notification, also under the provisions of US law; please contact us for information on how to do this. Filing a counter-notification indicates that you are willing to defend yourself in court against a charge of copyright infringement, and you may be bound by civil and possibly criminal penalties if you are found liable.
Regards,
Rebecca
LiveJournal Abuse Team
fuck you…
28 March 2006 @ 12:23 am
PLEASE THIS IS A WARNING TO ANYONE ANYWHERE WHO IS LOOKING FOR A JOB! I went for a job that I found on seek or a similar style of website and while applying for anything that I was possibly qualified for and that sounded okay and legit. A few weeks later I had a phone call from two people and they asked for an interview. After taking down the detail of each call I had to franticly sort though my inbox to find what exactly I am being interviewed for. The first was at West End (in Brisbane) and a nice guy who reminded me of that guy from The Office (but without the arseholiness). Myself and another girl went in for a joint interview after rewriting our resumés for them on those little sheets they give you on clipboards (how I hate those pieces of paper, I'm sure they could just read all the same information off of my resumé). The interview went well and it sounded like I had found an actual job to stick me through my studies. The second job was for a company that fixes mobile phones and that did not sound exciting or interesting in anyway despite the fact it was quite near to my place of study.
I was invited back for a second interview for the first job and arrived in very fancy professional business attire. I was very surprised when I was handed a temporary pass and taken to car and driven out to Chermside Shopping Centre. Apparently this wasn't a second interview at all but an 'observation day' out at one of their event sites. To tell you the truth I had little to no idea of what I was getting myself into. Essentially the job was those annoying idiot in shopping centres who stop you at all costs and try and sell you crap – we were selling AAPT products.
I was a little freaked out by all of this because I thought what a pathetic job but I did need a job and I did need the money, that and I took some comfort in a girl named Jade who was also on her 'second interview'.
Long story short, Jade and I were taken back to the office and spoken to separately and I was offered a job to start straight away. Because of the factor I spoke of before I took up the offer. Saturday morning and I get there at 7:30 as I am asked to (which means getting up at 5:30 considering where I live). I arrived and was handed forms galore to sign. I read a lot of it but was forced to sign without finishing. I was told and shown in writing that the first week I would be paid $300 for training and if I made any more money than that during that week then I would get that amount. I was taken out to Mt Omanney and taught the tricks to stop people and told that, that is all I am supposed to do. I was stuck with a guy by the name of Tony who regularly left me alone on my first day to have a smoke. Think Holden Crawford of 'The Catcher in the Rye' – he was a charming, psychotic little shit who no-body seemed to see through.
The week went by and I made a few sales but not a lot being me first week. On the second or third day would have to have been my favourite (oh the sarcasm, OH the sarcasm). I had customer service training which wasn't customer service training at all but a huge ad for AAPT designed to make me think and breath the product (which I guess was fair enough) but that is not the good part. I was then told to make my way to Arana Hills. How may you ask? “Well how else to make your way around – there's a bus stop down the road”.
I would like you to think of a suburb you have heard of but know no idea where it is and then I would like you to make your way there without a UBD, or a clue in which direction it is. I caught a bus in the general direction after skimming the maps in a local Newsagent I caught a bus to the closest suburb (as no bus from where I was, went any closer). I then guessed a bus stop and got out thinking, very patriotically as it now may seem: “where the bloody hell am I”!? Predicted a direction and walked for two hours. I finally made my way out of suburbia to a large shopping centre – not the one I wanted but it was better then the summer sun outside. I was lucky because it was here I found that a bus from the terminal outside went straight past the shopping centre I needed. So after a forty minute wait I jumped on this bus and a few minute later I was at this stupid centre which was just bigger than the target at Brisbane's Myer Centre.
If I said that is where the bullshit ended I would be feeding you on a nice little menu of lies. There were many other instances that came up, like at having to go from Brisbane's Myer Centre back to the West End office sit around for an hour while I wait for someone to ask how was my day (this is just a side note but something that no-one should ever do: I would say good and they would reply with why was it good every single time.).
But the thing that completes the picture was my pay. They refused to pay me at all. I was told that my details were bouncing. Now I don't want to sound cynical of the banking system of Australia but no bank on this earth would ever 'bounce back' any cash amount for any excuse. They would take first and ask questions later. So this happened over a few days and so I got my lovely mother involved (a successful business women who knows what is what in terms of all this) and she was told that I wasn't the only one this had happened to. I just got fed up and gave them one of my statements because it has it all there, they simply cannot go wrong. BIG MISTAKE, but that comes in more detail later on. Despite having everything they need they still manage to completely stuff up, to choose a much nicer collection of words, my pay and still nothing. So then after some threatening words by my mother (in the legal sense not the Jerry Springer sense), my pay was then paid to someone else and I was then told to pick it up from reception of the office.
I arrive perfectly on time to find no pay and nobody around who knows anything about it. I call the person who is supposed to have my pay and she tells me that her wallet was stolen and she has since transferred the funds into my account. Now, do you see anything wrong with what she just told me, anything at all? If she can transfer cash into my account then why the hell couldn't I be paid via the normal channels – I'm almost positive that had to be illegal somehow!
But that is not the highlight of the evening, no no no. Later on, after I just didn't bother to turn up to work for blatantly obvious reasons, I had decided, since Paypal has in fact established an Australian based office for Aussie Paypalians, that I could now add my bank account to Paypal. I Input all the detail carefully and then check them twice, hit enter, confirm they are correct and then I get back the lovely message that my account has already been added to another account and cannot be added to two different accounts at once. To quote my mother when I told her “My god, they can't possible be that stupid!” I have not yet proved it is in fact them but I am following the correct channels to easily find out.
Now just to wrap up, this is the COBRA GROUP! Not some small, dodgy little operation. This is one of the biggest face-to-face marketing group in the world. The real problem with the Cobra Group is they branch of into hundreds of sub-companies which then break of into even more; so it is extremely hard to just avoid the Cobra Group all together because, let's face it, they are everywhere! Oh and before I wrap this up, the pay that was issued to my account was around $150 worth. Remember the $300 that I mentioned before that was even in the contract I signed. And It was actually more than that because I had passed my six day trial and was now earning more (by more I mean around $80-100 in a full get at the office at 7:30 and finally later leave the office after a long day at around 6:30).
The thing that really scares me to the bone is these are not normal people. They are just completely fucked in the head. They don't save the world. They don't prevent war and eliminate world poverty. They don't prevent global warming. They sell home phone packages. I don't think they quite realise this. Their whole entire existence is wrapped up in their own self-importance. It's like as if Daniel Johns sold AAPT in shopping centres – yeah it's that bad. It is a completely different world dripping with 89% phoniness and 11% bullshit (rather ironic considering the comment made on our friend 'Tony'). I would like to quote a friend speaking on this matter but its content it's terribly user-friendly.
The only thing I can possibly say is stay the hell away. These people are fricken insane! I was told by one of my supervisor to just hang up on my mother who was calling to pick me because we were all going out for drinks to 'network' (and I'm not going to get started on that). Please, you're life is not worth it. I would have to say you would get more success and more satisfaction out of doing a few junk-mail runs then this. Stay away!
run away…
Accompanying Mood: Death Death Death
Accompanying Music: Cobra Cobra Cobra
21 March 2006 @ 05:40 pm
If you had me alone, locked up in your house for twenty-four hours and I had to do whatever you wanted me to, what would you have me do? All comments will be screened because it's a secret. Then repost this in your LJ. You might be surprised with the responses you get.
(If you want, comment anonymously. It'll make it that much creepier. Even if commenting anonymously, be honest.)
go nuts folks…
(If you want, comment anonymously. It'll make it that much creepier. Even if commenting anonymously, be honest.)
go nuts folks…
Accompanying Music: HACK on Tiple J
09 March 2006 @ 10:14 pm
Accompanying Mood: Gay
